EMF: Cold Day in Hell

(Copyright information displays on the screen. You paid for the Pay Per View didn’t you? We arrive to a highlight video giving a quick rundown on how each match came about. Transitioning into an introduction screen welcoming us to Cold Day in Hell 2018. The lights are turned down in the arena. Pyrotechnics rain down on the specially made Cold Day in Hell set. The lights turn on as fans yell, and wave their signs. The camera scans the crowd.)

JR-Tonight we are in the Valley of the Sun, welcome to this years edition of Cold Day in hell. I’m good ol’ JR, Jim Ross along side Jerry “The King” Lawler”, and Kris “KG” Gaffney. A decade ago, Angelus Archer was reigning on the top of the EMF. Tonight he looks to regain his grip on the top, but it’s not going to be easy as the current champion has proven himself more than worthy of that spot as well.

King-The only thing I got to say…hopefully Logan has talked to Zack Ryder, because if there is one person who knows how to survive, it’s Zack Ryder.

Kris Gaffney-Speaking of Zack Ryder, he’s at it again in the opening match.

JR-Speaking of which Kris, that match is about to start…

(“Radio” blasts on the PA system. Zack Ryder walks out on the stage posing with his web camera, he walks down to the ring, and he steps inside of the ring.)

JR-Ryder would like to be a TV champion once again.

King-He has quite the mountain however.

Kris Gaffney-Remember…everyone in this match is a threat! Everyone. Speaking of which….do you think Ryder should change his theme song to involving surviving?

King-So many to pick from…

(“I will master your mind” blasts on the PA system. Mastermind walks out on the stage, and down to the ring. “High Volume” blasts on the PA system. Kenny Omega walks out on the stage, and down to the ring.)

JR-Mastermind knows what it’s like to be a former TV champion as well.

King-The only question is if he can manage it with his 5 stages of hell match.

Kris Gaffney-You would think that he’d want to win this match though….Bryan’s match is non-title even if he does win.

(“X going to give it to you” blasts on the PA system. Wade Wilson walks out on the stage very, very slowly, he steps inside of the ring.)

King-I still wonder if that’s an effect, or he’s really walking slowly.

Kris Gaffney-Only he knows for sure!

[Wade Wilson stands in the middle of the ring bothered by something or another, but seemly the rest of the field doesn’t seem to share his worries as Kenny Omega runs at him. Wade Wilson side steps him, and he throws him over the top rope. Kenny Omega lands on his feet, and Wade Wilson dares him to go back into the ring. Kenny Omega says you can’t dare to make a dare!! He tries to get into the ring, Wade Wilson hits a drop kick to through the ropes. Kenny Omega stumbles backwards, and he hits hard into the barricade. He falls down on the mat. Kenny Omega gets picked up by Wade Wilson by the hair, and he brings him over the barricade, he lifts him up, and he drops him face first into the barricade. He holds his face. Kenny Omega stumbles around, and Wade Wilson makes comments about how that must have hurt, but not as much as this. Wade Wilson grabs Kenny Omega, he runs towards the corner, and he hurls Kenny Omega, he hits the ring post hard.]

King-I hate when people narratives your ass kicking…Gaffney probably knows a thing or two about that.

Kris Gaffney-Don’t I ever…

JR-This match action has started fast, there is no doubt about that.

[Inside of the ring Mastermind has attempted to whip Zack Ryder off of the orpes, but Zack Ryder is able to reverse the whip. Zack Ryder bounces off of the ropes. Mastermind lowers his head, but it’s countered with a swinging neck breaker that puts him down on the mat. Mastermind gets up dazed holding the back of his head. He stumbles up to his feet, Mastermind gets kicked into the gut that doubles him over. Then he hooks him, and he connects with a vertical suplex putting down Mastermind. Zack Ryder quickly goes into a lateral press. The ref dives into position to make the count. The ref counts 1……….2…KICK OUT by Mastermind. Mastermind rolls away as Zack Ryder questions the count. Mastermind gets up in the corner. Zack Ryder runs towards the corner, he connects with a running clothesline in the corner. Zack Ryder backs away, he watches as Mastermind stumbles out of the corner. Mastermind falls into the corner. Zack Ryder grins as he knows what is next.]

JR-Mastermind is in prime position for the broski boot.

King-The only problem is…who is at a disadvantage.

Kris Gaffney-You’d think Mastermind

King-You’d THINK that…but no…

[Zack Ryder runs towards Mastermind, and he connects with a Broski kick that sends Mastermind falling out of the ring, and on to the floor. Zack Ryder plays to the crowd as he pumps them up. Zack Ryder measures up as Mastermind is trying to pull himself up to his feet. Zack Ryder runs to the ropes, he bounces off of the ropes. He goes for a suicide dive, but as he does this, Mastermind side steps him, and he hooks on the Mind Controller!! Mastermind not having a lot of strength from the Broski boot drags the surprised Zack Ryder over into the corner, he lifts him up, and drops him on the steel steps for a sleeper slam on the side of the steel steps. Zack Ryder falls down in pain. Zack Mastermind gets blasted with a chair by Kenny Omega.]

JR-Kenny Omega got away from Wade Wilson to make Mastermind pay.

King-That’s what he gets for being in a weaken state!

[Kenny Omega keeps the chair as Wade Wilson is dazed in the ring, and he waits for Wade Wilson to turn around. Kenny Omega goes for the chair shot to the head. Wade Wilson ducks under, he kicks him in the gut, he sets him up, and he drops him with the Dead Pool. Wade Wilson pushes Omega on his back. Wade goes into the cover on Omega. The ref goes into position. The ref counts 1……….2…………3!!]

JR-Wade Wilson connects with the Dead Pool, and gets the victory.

King-Nothing can ruin his mood now.

Kris Gaffney-Not even an up coming match!

("I've Paid... My...Dues!" echoes through the arena. Francis comes out full of energy before quickly stopping by the top of the ramp taking a deep breath, raising his arms and then taking his hands near his chest in a prayer like pose. He raises his gaze into the ring and breaks away from the pose as he starts running down the ramp high fiving the fans and celebrating. As he approaches the ring apron he gets up and uses the top rope to gain momentum and jump over into the ring. As he rolls over the first rope into the middle of the ring, he does his traditional prayer pose marking his arrival to his sacred space.)

Announcer: This contest is a hardcore match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Madeira, Portugal. He stands 180cm weighing in at 85kg. He is The Living Legend, FRANCIS COSMOS!

JR: This guy with an impressive win against Sirius Jericho in his debut match.

KG: Impressive? Doesn’t everybody beat him?

King: Job Squad for the win!

("The Best It's Gonna Get" by Celldweller hits as Johnny Osbourne makes his way to the ring.)

Announcer: And his opponent. He stands 5’3” and weighs 185lbs. “Little” JOHNNY OSBOURNE!

Jr: What Johnny’s lacks for in height, he makes up with in speed.

KG: The little man, what a win over An Arkie.

King: ALL HAIL THE JOB SQUAD! Maybe Little Johnny can team with those guys.

(It Follows as Osiris walks out onto the stage and looks both ways. He stops midway to the ring and raises his fists and lets out a big yell before continuing to the ring. Osiris rolls under the ring rope and goes to his corner and sits down.)

Announcer: And their opponent. Fighting out of Hickory,LA. He stands at 6’0” weighing in at 215 pounds. He is OSIRIS!

Jr: He showed glimpses of something special in his debut match.

KG: My vote goes to Little Johnny for the win.

King: When is Melonia Trump’s match?

(The reff calls for the bell.)


(The three men look out at one another to see who makes the first move. Eventually after the intensity builds up, they all charge. Once close enough, Little Johnny baseball slides under both The Living Legend and Osiris, as Osiris and Living Legend begin to trade blows in the center of the ring. Little Johnny get’s to his feet, continues his run to the ropes, and on the return leaps up hitting both men with a dropkick that sends them stumbling. Osiris and Living Legend look at one another, then they both charge at Little Johnny, he ducks the first attack and then leaps up to hit them with kicks, but is caught in mid air by The Living Legend. Osiris assists him as they lift up Little Johnny in a powerbomb position and smash him into the canvas. The Living Legend attempts to grab Little Johnny, but Living Legend is met with a kick to the side of the head by Osiris. Osiris grabs Living Legend by the arm and whips him into the ropes. On the return he attempts to hit Living Legend with a clothesline, but Living Legend ducks and continues to the ropes. On the return Living Legend ducks low and Osiris leap frogs him. Living Legend continues to the ropes again, once close enough Osiris attempts a dropkick but Little Johnny is able to grab his legs and yank him to the ground and then spin his leg around tripping up The Living Legend which causes him to fall and roll out of the ring. Little Johnny quickly gets back to his feet, he runs to the rope and leaps up putting both feet on the top rope and shoots off with a springboard moonsault right as Osiris get’s back to his feet. Little Johnny stays on top for the cover.)

Ref: ONE!... (KICKOUT!)

Jr: What a display of athleticism by Johnny Osbourne.

KG: It was alright.

King: Yea, I can do that.

(Little Johnny back to his feet, he runs at the ropes, bounces off, but the Living Legend reaches in grabbing Little Johnny’s feet which cause him to fall. Living Legend climbs up the edge of the ring and waits for Little Johnny to get back to his feet. Once he does, as he turns around Living Legend leaps up, both feet on the top rope and springs off attempting to smash his forearm into Johnny’s face, but little Johnny rolls out of the way and in mid air Living Legend is caught with HEAVEN OR HEL by Osiris. Before Osiris can go for the cover, he is kicked in the back of the head by Little Johnny. Little Johnny then rushes to his feet, leaps onto the top of the turnbuckles and attempts a senton bomb off of the top rope onto Osiris, but Osiris moves out of the way and Little Johnny smashes into the mat. Osiris pulls himself to his feet, he runs, jumps up and hits Little Johnny with a leg drop. Osiris rolls back to his feet, he attempts to bend down and grab Little Johnny, but he is met with a running bulldog from Living Legend. Living Legend back to his feet, picks up Osiris and pulls him back to his feet, hooks his head and drops back connecting with a DDT. As living Legend gets back to his feet again, Little Johnny runs and knees living Legend in the gut. Little Johnny hooks Living Legend’s head, runs, leaps up ontop of the rope, spinning attempting to drop Living Legend with a DDT, but Living Legend reverses it by picking him up, turning him around and smashing him to the mat with an STO. Living Legend covers Johnny.)

Ref: ONE!... TWO! (Osiris rushes over with an elbow drop to Living Legends head to break the count.)

Jr: What a back and forth match up we have going on.

KG: I’m still pulling for Little Johnny.

King: Isn’t that a news paper cartoon comic character?

(As Osiris and Living Legend climb back to their feet, Johnny rolls himself out of the ring. Living Legend and Osiris rush one another, Osiris attempts to swing at Living Legend, Living Legend ducks, leaps up and connects with a pele kick which drops Osiris into the corner. Living Legend back to his feet, he rushes at Osiris and before he dives Osiris moves out of the way. Living Legends slides out of the bottom of the rope to the outside of the ring and as he circles the turnbuckle he is met with a hard chair shot to the head which opens him up and instantly drops him. As Osiris turns around, Johnny slides into the ring with the chair, Osiris rushes him, but once close enough he is hit with a shot to the gut and then a shot right to his back which brings him to his knees. Johnny swings the chair hard at Osiris’s head, but Osiris ducks and rolls himself out of the ring. Johnny drops the chair, runs and bounces off of the opposite ropes, and on the return he leaps clean over the top rope connecting to Osiris with a suicide dive which sends Osiris into and over the barricade. Johnny back to his feet, walks over and grabs the still downed Living Legend and slides him into the ring. Johnny slides Living Legends head right in between the steel chair. He climbs up onto the top turnbuckle, he leaps off attempting to stomp on the chair, but Living Legends pushes the chair off and rolls out of the way. Johnny hits the ground and rolls back to his feet, he rushes back at living legend who is back to his feet, Johnny dives at living legend but is met with a knee to the face. Living Legend lifts Johnny to his feet, picks him up and hits him with The Soul Drop and Johnny’s face smashes right onto the steel chair. Living Legend rolls him over and goes for the cover.)

Ref: ONE!... TWO!... THREE!


Announcer: And here is your winner. FRANCIS “THE LIVING LEGEND” COSMOS!

JR: BAH GAWD! Johnny’s face smashed into that steel chair. What a victory by the Living Legend!

KG: Little Johnny got robbed!

King: Does Melonia come out next, or at all?

(Living Legend celebrates his victory as we cut to the back. We see Wade Wilson watching the match on a tv scree. He is shaking his head, tosses his drink. “FUCKING FRANCIS!”)

(“Crank it up” blasts on the PA system. Pyro shoots up, and the Big Show walks out on the stage. He rises up his hand yelling to the crowd, before continuing down to the ring, and stepping inside of the ring.)

JR-The World’s Largest Athlete has made his first appearance in the EMF.

King-Let’s hope it’s nothing like some other’s first appearances.

Kris Gaffney-Some big names have had some….issues.

(“Paralyzed” blasts on the PA system. Ben Black walks out on the stage, he enters the ring.)

JR-Ben Black has had some bright spots since returning to the EMF….and some not so bright spots.

King-I get the feeling this isn’t going to be one of his favorite moments.

Kris Gaffney-So positive

[The bell rings. Ben Black runs towards the Big show, and he hammer’s away at the Big Show, but seemly it’s not really effecting the world’s biggest athlete, the Big Show block’s one of Ben Black’s fist. The Big Show hooks him, and he hits a big head butt. The Big Show makes sure that he doesn’t fall to the mat. The Big Show grabs him, he hooks him, and he hauls him across the ring. He crashes down hard on the mat. He has a look of pain as he slowly rises up to his feet, he gets up to his feet. The Big Show grabs Ben Black around the throat, he lifts him up, but before he can drop down to the mat. Ben Black is able to counter with a eye poke. This makes the Big Show drop him, and he lands on the mat. Ben Black takes a few moments to rest up, but knowing that the Big Show is not going to be stunned forever, he runs to the ropes. The Big Show meets him with a big boot to the face that knocks him down on the mat. Big Show watches as Ben Black goes into the corner. The Big Show has a large grin. He goes into the corner, and he holds Ben Black in the corner as he shushes the crowd, he brings down a big chop into the chest of Ben Black. Ben Black is in a lot of pain, Ben Black is in a lot of pain. The Big Show does the same thing, and he brings him out of the corner, he whips him to the ropes, he bounces off of the ropes. The Big Show picks him up, and drops him with a side walk slam!!]

JR-Ben Black hasn’t found a way around the sheer mass, and power of the Big Show.

King-Going to be difficult.

Kris Gaffney-But it can be done. We have seen that time, and time again.

[The Big Show goes into the cover on Ben Black. The ref counts 1………2….Ben Black is able to roll the shoulder up before the final three count. Big Show gets up, he balls his fist up. He yells for Ben Black to get up to his feet. Ben Black is slow to get up to his feet. He turns towards the Big Show. The Big Show attempts to go for the WMD. Ben Black ducks under, he jumps to the middle rope, and he jumps off of the middle rope, and hits a flying kick to the side of the head that staggers the Big Show, but does not take him off of his feet. Ben Back decides to put him down the rest of the way, he kicks the Big Show in the gut, and drops him with a DDT that puts him down into the mat.]

JR-This might be Ben Black’s chance.

Kris Gaffney-Maybe he can stop being related to Cyrus.

King-I don’t think he is…

[Ben Black goes to the outside of the ring, and he waits on the apron. He gets ready. He spring boards off of the top rope, he jumps off of the top rope. He goes for some sort of move, what we will never know because Ben Black face meets into the fist of the Big Show. Ben Black goes down like a sack of potato’s seemly KOed. Big Show goes into the cover on Ben Black. The ref counts 1………..2……….3!!]

JR-Ben Black took a chance, and didn’t pay off.

King-I think his face knows this.

(“Game On” blasts on the PA system. Tony Ikeda walks out on the stage, and he continues down to the ring.)

JR-Tony Ikeda got here through the big contendership match last month.

King-I don’t know if his odd’s have improved or not.

Her Dark Star hails from The Danvers State Lunatic Asylum, Salem Massachusetts and at Six Foot Eleven inches tall – at Four Hundred and Twenty Pounds he is… THE WRETCHED NOBODY!

Nobody blows the candle out and the arena lights rise again. He slithers under the bottom rope and slides back sitting in the corner. Nobody reaches for the top rope and pulls himself back to his feet. He rolls his neck and glares hard at the floor as he rocks side to side in his corner – gently tapping together the tips of his fingers seeming intent on hearing the sweet release of the bell ringing.

JR-This new comer however is going to be a factor.

King-A big factor.

Kris Gaffney-And other comments about his height.

(“The Duck Song” blasts on the PA system. Walter Melon walks to the ring. He steps ring side. Suddenly he turns around. He see’s someone who is wearing an Ashley Irvine mask. They take off the mask, and is now wearing a watermelon mask. Walter Melon turns around, and the person takes off the water melon mask to reveal Ashley Irvine who yells WATERMELON!!)

Kris Gaffney-She’s really obsessed with that.

King-Think it’s because watermelon’s remind her of the size of her boobs?

JR-Walter Melon probably is in more danger here, than any other time…can we focus on the match!

[Walter Melon stands waiting for the bell to ring. The bell rings, Tony Ikeda and Walter Melon throw fists to the face, neither wrestler is backing up. The Wretched Nobody attacks Tony Ikeda. Tony Ikeda falls down on the mat, and he hits the low blow on the Wretched Nobody. While this is going on Walter Melon waits for Tony Ikeda to turn around. Walter Melon hits a few fists to the face, he tries to whip him off of the ropes, but it’s reversed. Walter bounces off of the ropes, but he hooks the ropes. Tony Ikeda runs towards Walter Melon. Walter Melon hits a back body drop that sends Tony Ikeda out of the ring. Walter Melon turns his attention fully to Tony Ikeda who is getting up to his feet, and once he gets up to his feet Walter Melon is on the apron, he jumps off, and he brings down the double axe handle. Tony Ikeda falls down on his knee’s. He gets up to his feet, and he backs up, and he hits a running kick to the ribs. He rolls around in pain. Walter Melon looks towards the ring, he see’s that The Wretched Nobody is still happy standing back…well…as happy as he can be after being low blowed, and waiting for his spot. Walter Melon decides to stay in the middle of the ring. He tries to pick up Walter Melon, but Tony counters by grabbing Walter Melon’s tights, and throws him into the ring steps.]

JR-Tony Ikeda with the counter.

King-Walter probably was too aggressive there.

Kris Gaffney-He still eats fruit, that still makes him better than you.

[Tony Ikeda stumbles backwards stunned, the Wretched Nobody reaches from the inside of the ring, and palms Tony Ikeda’s head, and pulls him up to the apron. He grabs him around the throat, he lifts him up with two hands, and he holds him up in the air for a few moments, and he throws him hard into the corner. He crashes hard into the ring post. He stumbles out of the corner, and he knocks down Tony Ikeda with a hard fist that puts town Tony Ikeda. Tony Ikeda dazed throws a wild fist to the face. The Wretched Nobody is able to easily duck it. He hooks him into a belly to back position, he drops him face first into the face plant. The Wretched Nobody stands back as he looks menancly towards Tony Ikeda who is pulling himself up to his feet. Tony Ikeda turns around, and the Wretched Nobody grabs him around the throat. He lifts him up, and he drops him for the sit down two handed power bomb known as the Baldo bomb. The Wretched Nobody holds Tony Ikeda into position for the count. The ref counts 1…………..2…Tony Ikeda is close enough to the ropes he is able to reach out, and he hooks the bottom rope. This breaks up the count.]

JR-Tony Ikeda breaks up the three count.

King-I doubt that would have gotten the job done.

Kris Gaffney-Hey…if Tony teamed up with Tony, they can be the new T and A!

[The Wretched Nobody goes to the corner, he yells for Tony Ikeda to get up to his feet. But then he is blind sided with a chair shot that dazes the Wretched Nobody. The Wretched Nobody tuns towards him, Walter Melon goes for another chair shot, but the Wretched Nobody blocks it, and takes the chair from Walter Melon. The Wretched Nobody hits a chair shot to the champion. He turns to Tony Ikeda. Tony Ikeda is able to hit a drop kick into the chair. The Wretched Nobody stumbles around. Tony Ikeda hooks the Wretched Nobody, and drops him for the Full Nelson. The ref goes into position to make count. The ref counts 1…………2…The Wretched Nobody is able to power out of the cover. Tony Ikeda waits for the Wretched Nobody to get up to his feet, he sets up the Wretched Nobody with a full nelson. The Wretched Nobody is able to counter with a snapmare that sends him flying. He kicks Tony Ikeda in the gut, he lifts him up, and drives him right through the ring canvas breaking a small portion of the ring!!]

JR-My god!!

King-You think the ring or Tony is more broken.

Kris Gaffney-They could be easily both broken.

[Walter Melon gets into the ring. The Wretched Nobody palms his face. He pushes back Walter Melon. The Wretched Nobody runs towards Walter Melon going for his head with the Trephination. Walter Melon ducks under, and The Wretched Nobody gets hung up in the ropes. Walter Melon dumps him out of the ring. Walter Melon quickly dives on the cover on Tony Ikeda. The ref goes into position to make the count. The ref counts 1……….2………3!!]

JR-The Wretched Nobody looked to take Walter Melon’s head off, but he was able to think quickly, and use it to his advantage.

King-Considering what he did to Tony, I’d hate to see what would have happened to Walter had he connected with that last move.

Kris Gaffney: They usually do.

Daniel Bryan’s music starts.

Kris Gaffney: Here comes Daniel Bryan. He’s ready for this.

JR: I was talking to him earlier, he’s been ready for this for weeks since the challenge was first put out.

King: He clearly wants to win this one.

JR: Both of them do.

Daniel Bryan gets to the outside of the first cage, and is ushered inside. Then Mastermind’s music hits, and the lights go out.

JR: Here we go. Where will he end up when the lights come back on?

The lights come back on, and Mastermind is seen standing in front of the cage. Kris Gaffney: Not quite ready to get in there yet.

Mastermind is ushered into the first cage, and he and Daniel Bryan lock horns.

JR: So any minute now, we will get going. This first fall is determined by Submission. The bell goes. Mastermind and Daniel Bryan walk to the center of the first cell, and they both start trash talking one another. No one seems to want to back down.

Kris Gaffney: They are both trash talking.

King: I think they are trying to get into each others heads.

JR: I wouldn’t recommend that.

Suddenly Mastermind strikes first, not once but three vicious left, right, lefts. This forces Daniel Bryan to stumble backwards. Mastermind grabs Daniel Bryan, and sends him to the ropes. He comes back, and Mastermind follows up with a hellacious clothes line.

JR: Mastermind means business.

King: He’s had enough of Daniel Bryan that’s why.

Mastermind goes for a few knee drops to keep Daniel Bryan down, and then a few elbow drops, and then helps Bryan to his feet, and whips him into the corner, and he follows up with a flying forearm.

Kris Gaffney: This is all about momentum. Mastermind wants to get control early.

Mastermind looks down at the fallen Bryan. He starts smirking, and then he helps him to his feet, and sets him up for a DDT. Suddenly Bryan breaks out of the move, and arm drags Mastermind off of his feet.

King: Where did that come from?

JR: Built up frustration too. These guys both want to win the first fall.

Bryan waits for Mastermind to get up, before doing a running knee sending Mastermind into the ropes, and Bryan follows up with a flying clothesline to send Mastermind through the ropes out onto the cage floor.

Kris Gaffney: Here we go this is where the cage comes into effect.

Mastermind is trying to recover, just as Daniel Bryan jumps down onto the cage floor. He grabs Mastermind, and throws him into the side of the cage with such force, and then he hits Mastermind in the back with a couple of elbows.

JR: Trying to soften up Mastermind’s back

King: That’s crucial when delivering a submission.

Bryan pulls Mastermind away from the cage wall, and sends him straight into the ring apron. Mastermind looks in pain. Bryan follows up with a couple of ax-handles, and some elbows, and stays on the attack. Bryan then sends Mastermind into the ring, who is lying on the floor, clutching at his back. Bryan then goes to the top rope, and starts smiling.

JR: Bryan knows he has Mastermind in all sorts of trouble.

Kris Gaffney: I thought Mastermind felt he had this but it’s been the other way around.

Bryan jumps from the top rope and lands a flying elbow into the back of Mastermind, who starts withering around in pain. A few more knee drops has Mastermind in all sorts of trouble. Then Bryan goes for the No lock.

King: He’s got it locked in, surely Mastermind can’t escape this one.

JR: Surely not

Bryan keeps the pressure on as Mastermind is yelling with all his might, but the pressure looks to be too much. In one last desperate attempt he tries to crawl for the ropes, but Bryan digs the lock in harder, and the pressure that he has just received on his back is too intense, and he has no chance but to tap out. The referee calls for the bell.

Kris Gaffney: I’m pretty sure that Mastermind knows this is a war and thinks he might of just lost the first battle. 4 more to come. So that’s pretty smart thinking on his part.

King: Yes pretty smart think if that’s all he thinking.

As Daniel Bryan gets up and holds up his hand, the floor to the second cell above them slides out. A ladder comes down. Daniel Bryan looks down and mouths something like “See you up there loser,” at Mastermind

Daniel starts climbing the ladder.

JR: According to the rules put in place, Mastermind has at least 2 minutes to get to his feet, and must touched the ladder in order for everyone to assume he’s right to go for the second cell.

King: Wow two minutes.

Mastermind sits up in pain, the referee is looking at his watch. Mastermind gets to his feet, and clutches his back, and looks up the ladder to see Daniel Bryan almost at the second of the cages. Mastermind leans against the ladder to get his breath back.

Kris Gaffney: I’m sure that counts as touching the ladder.

King: I’m sure it does.

Mastermind looks up one more time, and starts climbing.

Mastermind finally gets to the next cell, and gets into the ring to join Daniel Bryan. The ladder is risen to go underneath the cell, and the floor slides back into place. At one end of the ring is a table, and Daniel Bryan is looking at it.

Kris Gaffney: So this next stage, is a tables match.

JR: Which means what King?

King: Which means someone has to put their opponent through the table to win the match.

Daniel turns back to Mastermind, who is stretching his back, and smirks at him. Suddenly the referee calls for the bell, and Bryan runs at Mastermind, and hits hit with a knee strike. Mastermind stumbles back into the ropes, comes back, and Bryan clobbers him with a forearm, taking him down to the mat.

Kris Gaffney: Wow Mastermind can’t get a firm footing all of a sudden.

JR: He is definitely on the back foot.

Bryan helps Mastermind back to his feet, and goes to whip him to corner, but Mastermind somehow reverses the move and sends Bryan into the ropes, and as he comes back, Mastermind tries to jump over Bryans head, which he does so, and Bryan continues onto the other side, and catches himself on the ropes. He turns around to see Mastermind land and the jarring of the landing hurts Mastermind’s back, and he falls to his knees.

Bryan smiles as he walks back to Mastermind.

King: He’s hurt big time.

Mastermind gets back to his feet, but Bryan grabs him and sends him towards the ropes, and as he comes back he drop kicks Mastermind. Mastermind stumbles towards the table. He stops just in time, turns around and is hit with another flying knee. Mastermind goes down again.

Kris Gaffney: Just how good is Daniel Bryan tonight?

King: He really wants this win.

Bryan walks up to Mastermind, and lifts him into position, and sets him up for a power bomb.

JR: If Daniel hits this move, Mastermind will go through the table, and it’ll be 2 nil to Daniel. Mastermind in all sorts of trouble.

As try as he might, his back is giving him all sorts of trouble, he can’t seem to fight his way out of the move that Bryan has him in. Bryan lifts Mastermind up, and brings him crashing down on the table, and Mastermind goes through the table, and the referee calls for the bell.

King: There it is, Daniel Bryan is just one win away from winning this match.

Kris Gaffney: Maybe we won’t need all 5 cells.

Daniel Bryan looks down at Mastermind and mouths the word ‘pathetic’.

He looks up to see the floor to the third cell move to the side and another ladder comes down. He looks down at Mastermind and shakes his head. He starts climbing the ladder.

JR: Maybe it’ll be better if Mastermind gives up now. Uses the whole 2 minutes to recover and walk back to the locker room while he can.

Mastermind isn’t moving as 30 seconds past.

Kris Gaffney: It’s not looking good.

Mastermind starts to stir, and gets up on his knees, as the minute passes. Daniel Bryan is halfway up the ladder.

JR: Don’t do it Mastermind, just learn to fight another day.

Kris Gaffney: He can’t JR, he can’t fight Daniel Bryan any time soon.

As a minute and a half goes by, Mastermind gets to his feet, and suddenly he lunges at the ladder, and grabs it, before slipping again, and falling to his knees.

JR: He should have just given up.

King: Not his style.

With all his strength, Mastermind starts pulling himself up the ladder.

3 Minutes later Mastermind finally gets to the next cell, and gets into the ring. The ladder rises again and goes underneath the ring, and then the floor moves back into place.

Kris Gaffney: So this next stage, is a normal falls match.

King: Which means what?

Kris Gaffney: A normal pin or submission is only necessary for this stage.

Mastermind looks across the ring, at Daniel Bryan who is leaning into the right hand corner of the ring, and smiling back at him. Mastermind stretches his back, and shakes his head at Bryan continues to smile.

The referee calls for the bell, and both Mastermind and Bryan stay where they are. Bryan motions for Mastermind to come to him, but Mastermind holds his ground.

JR: No one wants to start off this 3rd stage.

Bryan starts mouthing off at Mastermind, who still holds his ground. This makes Bryan even angrier, and forgetting where he is, starts to move towards Mastermind. That’s his one and only mistake, as Bryan gets halfway to Mastermind, Mastermind strikes, and runs at him and Bryan is surprised when Mastermind hits him with a cross body check, and they tumble backwards together. As they get up in cross proximity to one another Mastermind grabs Bryan and rolls him up for a small package. The referee quickly counts 1…. 2…. 3.

Mastermind lets Bryan go, and the crowd goes silent.

King: What the hell just happened?

JR: Mastermind gets back into the match by rolling Daniel Bryan up in a small package as quickly as that.

Kris Gaffney: Where have I seen that lately?

King: Australia

Kris Gaffney: Shut up King.

Daniel Bryan gets up, and tries to shove Mastermind, who is smirking his infamous smirk. The referee gets in the way and pushes Bryan backwards, as the floor of the 4th cell moves to the side, letting another ladder lower. The referee is trying to tell Bryan that it was a fair fall. The small package is legal, and this makes Bryan even more angrier. He tries to get at Mastermind, but the referee continues to hold him back. Mastermind starts climbing the ladder to the 4th cell, and waves at Bryan.

Mastermind gets to the top of the ladder and climbs into the ring, and looks down at Daniel Bryan, who is still fuming, and climbing the ladder. Mastermind goes to the other side of the ring, and kneels down and seems to pick something up. He turns around and waits in the corner.

Kris Gaffney: So this next stage is the Extreme stage. So it’s under extreme rules, anything goes.

King: Does Mastermind look suspicious to you?

JR: All wrestlers look suspicious King, even you do.

King: Thanks JR

Daniel Bryan finally makes it into the ring, and the ladder is brought up underneath the ring, and then the floor closes back in place. The referee calls for the bell.

Bryan walks to the center of the ring and starts talking trash at Mastermind. He hasn’t forgotten the small package. Mastermind seems to be minding his own business. Bryan starts yelling at him.

Mastermind smirks and steps forward and then stops. Bryan ushers for Mastermind to come at him. Suddenly without warning Mastermind throws what looks to be a small round stone at Bryan. It hits Bryan who never had any warning, and he stumbles backwards, and suddenly Mastermind runs, and as Bryan hits the ropes, he connects with a huge clothes line that sends Bryan over the ropes and onto the metal floor.

King: See he was being suspicious. What was that that he threw?

Kris Gaffney: Looks like a stone.

Mastermind quickly gets out of the ring, and grabs Bryan and slams him against the cage wall. Not once, not twice but three times.

Kris Gaffney: Wow Mastermind now has the ascendency.

Bryan drops to his knees grabbing his face, but Mastermind is back on him with a few elbows, and then once again throwing Bryan into the cage wall.

JR: They are 4 cells up, and it looks very daunting from up there.

King: If the cell wall gives way someone is going to have a nasty accident.

As Bryan drops back to his knees, and looks in huge pain, Mastermind turns around and walks to the apron, and kneels down, and feels underneath the apron. He pulls out a metal chair, and a sledgehammer.

JR: This doesn’t look good.

Kris Gaffney: Mastermind certainly seemed to have all this planned before he got to this cell. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t thinking he’d lose the first two matches.

Mastermind drops the sledgehammer to the floor of the cage, and lifts the metal chair up. Suddenly Daniel Bryan dives out of the way, and tries to get back into the ring, but Mastermind who has already dropped the chair, is onto him in seconds. Bryan tries instinctively to fight back and only manages to get in a couple of elbows but it doesn’t phase Mastermind. Mastermind sends Bryan back into the cage wall with such force, for once the who structures seems to move with the impact.

Kris Gaffney: Wow first time I see it move like that.

JR: Again they are 4 cages up.

Mastermind picks up the metal chair, and slams it down on the back of Daniel Bryan, he releases a howl, and then a scream with another hit, and then a moan as a third hit, hits him. Mastermind hits him a 4th and 5th time with the chair before dropping it.

King: This should remind Mastermind of the first fall.

Kris Gaffney: It should but it shouldn’t make any difference.

Bryan seems to crawl away from Mastermind, Mastermind lets him go for a second, but then starts walking after him. Suddenly Bryan lunges for the apron, and seems to grab something from underneath the ring. It’s a piece of stick with a wire wrapped around it.

King: Who does that remind you of?

JR: I dunno who?

Suddenly as Mastermind gets closer to see what Bryan as, Bryan turns around and swooshes the stick at Mastermind, and it seems to hit Mastermind in the head. Mastermind stumbles backwards, in pain.

With all his strength, Bryan gets back to his feet, and grabs Mastermind and throws him into the cage wall. Then he attacks him with the stick.

Kris Gafffney: I think the tables are turning so to speak. It could be all over shortly.

Bryan grabs Mastermind’s head and hits him in the temple with the wire mesh part of the stick, and it cuts Mastermind, who starts bleeding. Bryan grabs Mastermind and throws him into the ring apron. Mastermind seems to collapse to the ground.

Bryan lets out an all out evil laugh.

King: I think Mastermind pushed Daniel Bryan over his limit.

Bryan approaches Mastermind and lifts up the stick again. But suddenly without warning Mastermind turns around, grabs the sledge hammer which is lying near by, and manages to get one last throw attempt off, it hits Daniel Bryan square in the face. Bryan drops to the cell floor instantly and looks to be out.

Both wrestlers are now bleeding.

JR: Wow

Kris Gaffney: Yeah wow

King: Didn’t see that coming

Mastermind crawls over to Daniel Bryan, and pulls his body towards the ring. For the next couple of minutes it takes all his effort to move himself and Bryan back into the ring. They then lay motionless, side by side, before Mastermind has enough strength to pull himself on top of Bryan. 1….. 2…. 3.

JR: Wow.

King: Yeah wow.

Kris Gaffney: That’s now two wins a piece. The next one is a last man standing match. The winner of that match wins the match overall.

As the floor of the final cell moves to the side, the final ladder comes down. No one is moving.

JR: What happens if both don’t make it to the ladder in 2 minutes?

Kris Gaffney: It could be a draw?

Suddenly Mastermind starts crawling towards the ladder, a second later Bryan comes to, and knows he is in trouble. Mastermind gets to the ladder, and with all his energy starts climbing. Halfway up the ladder he looks down, to see Bryan crawling towards the ladder, but the time is almost at 2 minutes.

King: I think we have a winner.

But then with 10 seconds to go, Daniel Bryan gets up and lunges for the ladder, and manages to grab it, just as the 2 minute hooter goes.

JR: We’re still on for the last stage.

Mastermind climbs into the 5th and final ring in the 5th and final cage, and drops to the canvas. He is bleeding heavily, and he crawls over to the far side of the ring, and tries to recover as fast as possible. He knows what is coming.

Kris Gaffney: Mastermind looks out on his feet

King: So does Daniel Bryan

Daniel Bryan pulls himself off of the ladder, and climbs into the ring, and collapses to the canvas. He too is bleeding pretty badly. The ladder moves up underneath the ring, and the floor to the last cage moves back in place. The referee shows up.

JR: Is the referee going to give them a couple of minutes to get their energy back?

King: Surely not.

Kris Gaffney: They have one last fall to do. Whatever shape they are in they have to perform.

The referee calls for the bell, and the last fall is underway. The Last Man Standing match. Both Mastermind and Daniel Bryan are recovering at different ends of the ring in the corners. The referee starts the 10 count.

Kris Gaffney: If he counts to 10 and they both don’t get up, it’s going to be a draw.

King: And no one wins.

1….. 2…. 3…. 4…. 5….

Suddenly both Mastermind, and Bryan struggle to get to their feet with the last amount of energy that they have.

6…. 7

Suddenly Bryan rushes out of his corner, and rushes at Mastermind, but Mastermind side steps him, and as Bryan goes past, Mastermind grabs him and sends him into the corner with a little bit of force. Bryan goes down and then Mastermind drops to his knees. The referee starts the 10 count again.

1….. 2…. 3…. 4…

Daniel Bryan jumps back to his feet, and slowly walks towards Mastermind. Mastermind gets to his feet, but not before Bryan delivers a flying knee to his chest. Mastermind stumbles backwards into the ropes, and Bryan tries to follow up with a flying clothes line, but Mastermind ducks it, and manages to grab Bryan and flips him out over the ropes onto the cage floor. The impact of the fall makes Bryan scream out.

Mastermind again drops to his knees, and the referee counts again.

1….. 2…. 3….

Kris Gaffney: Surely someone has enough energy to win this thing.

4… 5…

King: Doesn’t look like it.


Daniel Bryan gets to his feet.


Mastermind gets back to his feet. Suddenly Bryan launches himself from the ring apron, over the ropes and onto Mastermind. They both go sprawling to the canvas. Side by side. The referee has to start the 10 count again.

1….. 2…

JR: Surely someone has the energy to put their hands on the other person to attempt to get up.

3…. 4….

Both Bryan and Mastermind head over to the different sides of the ring.

Kris Gaffney: They are going to use the ropes as leverage to get up

Both Mastermind and Bryan try to use the ropes to get up at a first attempt but they both fall to the floor again.


Again they try and again they fail………….6….7….finally both on shakey legs get up, and Daniel Bryan hits a drop kick to one of Mastermind’s leg’s. He hits a kick to the chest (YES!), then another (YES!), then another (YES!). He backs up, he goes for a kick to the head. Mastermind ducks under, and he springs up, and he hooks on the Mind Controller!! Daniel Bryan struggles, but with the way this match is going it looks like he’s about out. Mastermind looks extremely happy, about to dump him on the floor. Suddenly Bryan’s eyes open, he shakes his arms as he gains momentum, he fights up, and drops down with a jaw breaker. This breaks the hold. Both wrestlers reset Daniel Bryan rolls away, he gets up with the help of the ropes. Suddenly Daniel Bryan runs towards Mastermind. Mastermind turns around, and he gets hit with Daniel Bryan’s running knee. Mastermind stumbles backwards, he hits the ropes. But out of no where he hits Bryan with a super kick. Bryan falls backwards, and instincitly comes off of the ropes with another running knee that connects with Mastermind. Both wrestlers are down.]

JR-Daniel Bryan connects with the running knee!!

King-Yeah, but who has enough to get to their feet before 10.

Kris Gaffney-Your Mom couldn’t get up by the count of 10.

It’s only by the count of 6 that Mastermind is about to get up. He’s almost there by the count of 7. He falls back down on the mat. Daniel Bryan is fighting his way up to his feet with the help of the ropes, but he seems to be having a lot of problems…8…Daniel Bryan’s hand slips, and he about to fall back down, but he keeps a hold of the ropes 9……Daniel Bryan with the last bit of strength powers up on his feet…10!! Daniel Bryan wins!!

JR-Did Bryan do it? I think he did King!!

King-Took everything Bryan had to get up, but he was able to.

(Bryan falls back down on the mat, still having issues getting up the ref tries to help both competitors as the crowd cheers in appreciation of the efforts of both Daniel Bryan, and Mastermind.)

(“the Duck Song” blasts on the PA system. Kenny OMegrape walks out on the stage eating grapes, and he spits them out much like Triple H. Much like Triple H, no one really cares. He steps inside of the ring.)


Kris Gaffney-That’s why you stick with the classics *throws a grape at JR*

JR-Kenny Omegrape has proven to be extremely talented, but will it be enough.

King-If the Melon God’s say it is!

(“If you smell” blasts on the PA system. The Rock marches out on the stage. He holds up the IC championship. He walks down to the ring. He holds it up on the turnbuckle. He steps down into the ring.)

JR-How can you doubt this man?

King-Melon gods!

Kris Gaffney-The answer for everything in life, good and bad

[The Rock and Kenny Omegrape stand in the middle of the ring, and they talk trash. Kenny Omegrape throws a fist to the face of the Rock. The rock blocks it, and hits a hard fist to the face that knocks down Kenny Omegrape. Kenny Omegrape goes down on the mat, and he stumbles backwards. The Rock hits a few fists to the face as Kenny backs up into the corner, the Rock hits a few fists in the corner, he stops, Kenny Omegrape is able to rake the eyes of the Rock. This stops his punch combo. Kenny Omegrape runs to the ropes, he bounces off of the ropes. The Rock lifts up Kenny Omegrape, and he drops him with a samoan drop. Kenny Omegrape rolls away, he rolls under the ropes, he slowly gets up to his feet. Kenny Omegrape uses the ropes to get up on the outside of the ring, and the Rock runs towards the ropes, and he sling shots the ropes. Kenny Omegrape flips over the top rope, and he lands hard on the mat around ring side, Kenny Omegrape looks in shocked as he slowly gets up to his feet. The Rock kicks Kenny Omegrape in the gut, this drives the air out of Kenny Omegrape. The Rock hooks him, and he drops him with a DDT. Kenny Omegrape hits into the mat hard. The Rock pushes Kenny Omegrape on to his back, he hooks the leg. The ref goes into position to make the count. The ref counts 1………..2…KICK OUT by Kenny Omegrape.]

JR-Kenny Omegrape thought things were going his way when he raked the Rock’s eyes, but the Rock had other plans.

King-Sure hope so…who would want to lose….other than Gaffney.

Kris Gaffney-….

[Kenny Omegrape gets picked up by the hair by the Rock, the Rock sets up Kenny Omegrape into a suplex position, he lifts him up. Kenny is able to shift his weight. He lands behind the Rock. He sets him up, and he drops him with a german suplex that sends the Rock flying across the ring. Kenny Omegrape takes a few moments to rest up, and once he gets up to his feet. The rock is on the ropes, Kenny Omegrape runs towards the Rock firing fists to the face. He tries to whip him to the ropes, but it’s reversed by the Rock. Kenny Omegrape ducks under a clothesline, and he grabs the Rock, and he drops him for an inverted back breaker across the back. The Rock bounces off of the back of Kenny Omegrape, He stumbles into the corner dazed, he runs towards the corner, and he hits a running clothesline in the corner. Kenny Omegrape backs out of the corner, and he waits for the Rock. The Rock stumbles out of the corner, and he kicks the Rock in the gut, he sets him up. He lifts him up, and he drops him for a front face buster. Kenny Omegrape turns the Rock over, he goes into the cover. The ref goes into position to make the count. The ref counts 1………..2….KICK OUT by the Rock. Kenny Omegrape stands up, and he hits a few stomps on the downed Rock.]

JR-Kenny Omegrape is in firm control.

King-He’s certainly doing better than his non-fruit version.

Kris Gaffney-Something, something, Melon Gods, Something

[Kenny Omegrape picks up The Rock, and he tries to whip him to the ropes, but it’s reversed by the Rock, the Rock pulls himse in, and he connects with the Spine on the Pine. The Rock sets up, he slides off his arm pad. He throws it to the crowd he sets up, and he goes for the People’s elbow, he runs to the ropes, he bounces off of the ropes, he jumps over Kenny Omegrape. The Rock goes on to the other side of the ring. For some reason Kenny Omegrape has an orange on his chest when he comes back. THe ref stops the Rock, the Rock points to someone on the outside of the ring. The ref turns. The Rock hits the People’s elbow on the orange while the ref is distracted. It goes flying, and hits the Rock in the eye. The Rock is blinded, and Omegrape school boy’s the Rock. The ref counts 1…………2…………3!!]

JR-Omegrape wins the IC champion in a very..unusual way.

King-Fruit wins the day!!

Kris Gaffney-Melon Gods are responsible!